Tag Archives: wisdom

Don’t apologize for it! 

This is deep…. 
As much as I preach to “own your truth”, to “live outside your comfort zone” and to “love yourself first”, it’s easy to allow outside noise influence what goes on in your brain and the choices you ultimately make! 

This note reminds us that what we know that the truth and knowledge we store in our minds, what we feel to be true in our souls and hearts – that is NOT and should NOT be dismissed! 

You are/we are who we are: smart, beautiful, wise and loving (and so much more) and it’s so important that we never dumb ourselves down for anyone; that we not loose who we are and what we are meant to be, that we not be intimidated by the weakness of others and lastly, that we not forget that a mind is a beautiful thing to waste simply because those in our circle may be too weak to accept and appreciate it! Ladies, work on that circle you keep because not everyone is meant to be in it and/or stay there! 

As our wonderful First Lady Michelle Obama said “don’t apologize for it”! Be true to you and always #ownyourtruth because as I’ve said before, the world will adjust! Sometimes I even need to be reminded and there ain’t nothing wrong with that! Now let’s be #AMAZING #MUJERES #LADIES 

Follow my blog at http://www.lovingmefirstblog.wordpress.com ❤️🎤

Deeply rooted 

What does this tree symbolize to you? While the palm tree is my favorite tree (and I’ve written about it before), this tree however, resonates so deeply with me! To me it tells me that when you are deeply rooted, you can branch out in any form but your root, that’s your foundation and nothing (not even a storm) can uproot you! 

Yeah, the healthiest of trees have been uprooted; even the most solid & aged trees – but that doesn’t happen often (there’s usually some circumstance beyond our control and sometimes we are simply not taking care of it [ourselves]).

You may have some dead branches or perhaps some of the leaves have dried out and are holding on by its last vein, or maybe it simply falls off, but the root, well that only grows deeper in the soil. Rich in nutrients that continue to add to the life of each branch and leaf and perhaps flower.

This tree is soaring, dancing, living, growing and is simply beautiful! If there is anything that we can learn about trees, it would be that we need to appreciate them (ourselves), we need to take care of them (water it and cut off old branches to allow for further growth), we need to breathe them in (take in the beauty that you are) and lastly, allow it to grow (don’t let anything hinder its potential)!

Trees can prosper without sunlight but imagine what a little love and light can do!! So my peeps, take a deep look at this gorgeous life (the tree & you) and reflect – think about the beauty and it’s endless possibilities! #peace & #love to you all – always ❤️🏝 

Keep your eye on the goal

“To look where you are going is to be motivated by fear; to go where you are looking is to be driven by desire, confidence and vision. If you know you can handle whatever cracks and bumps come along, you do not have to watch the pavement all the time. Instead you can move full speed ahead with your eye on the goal.” [Excerpt – Get Out Of Your Own Way]

Love this excerpt; a subtle reminder that often we know where we are going but can get easily distracted at all the noise that surrounds us. I truly feel that the noise is there to help you reinforce your goals, to test your boundaries, to see if you can stand strong under pressure and to help you stay balanced (or not – it’s really up to you)!

You see, outside noise is unpredictable, it’s always going to be there and lastly, there’s no sure-fire-way we can get rid of it, so instead we have to adjust ourselves and learn to navigate through it.  Know your boundaries, keep tools in the tool box to help you get out of jams, always keep your eyes on the prize and never let your pride, ego and others get in the way!  

Hit the ground running with integrity, passion and love because when those things are deeply rooted, everything else is merely an eye-sore! 😘

Luz y colores mi gran amigo Hector

It’s been nearly 4 months since the unexpected passing of one of my best friends! There’s been many of times I’ve tried to write about him, about our friendship, but to no avail. Never quite strong enough to get through my writing.

They say you never quite know how much someone means to you until they are gone…. So true! I surely knew how important he was in my life when his soul was alive, but with him no longer here, I certainly understand and have a new found appreciation of the “why” he was important.

I’ve always believed that every friend, every person that walks in and out of our lives, serves a purpose! Whether to listen to your woes, to provide sound or even obscure advise (such can be comical or whimsical in nature), others are there to make your boo-boos feel better, to laugh, to cry with, dance, talk, guide….etc (you get the picture) – friends serve a purpose – even the ones that are no longer in our lives (perhaps they were never a friend – but certainly served a purpose). Either way, that’s what my friend Hector was for me – all of the above and then some!

If you know me well then you know I owe some of my inner & outer strengths to him! He believed in the purpose, in the strength & power of a woman. He believed in me and in moments of doubt, fear, confusion and cloudiness – he was there to push me through… To provide stern advise, sensible wisdom, laughter, tainted humor and always a listening ear no matter how busy or strained his day! Whether via call, a text, a meet-up, Hector made time for his friend!

No closure! No goodbye, no closure for me in knowing why he took his life so sudden, so unexpected, so rash – so devilish in nature!

As much as I want to be angry at him for leaving his family, his friends, for no longer having our friendship, I can’t! Mental illness, for no matter how much it appears someone has it together, no matter how smart, wise, rational one appears – mental illness lies deep within the soul; so deeply rooted that while in the outer you sustain, deep within you are broken — feeling like there’s no way out! You are a functioning depressed person until your rock bottom is too heavy to dig yourself out.

He always encouraged me to write! To share my journey because in some form or fashion – we all have something amazing to share, and the idea behind sharing is that someone is inspired or empowered by your story!

Your journey, much like depression and suicide, is never something to be hidden, to be embarrassed about! I can hear him now, telling me that what he did was wrong on so many levels, a gravely ill mistake not fully comprehending the everlasting damage & impact it left behind – a pain that filters the veins….

He would never object to my writing about him, in fact, he would encourage such writings! To tell the world that suicide is never an answer and while it was his answer – it was the wrong answer!

I will never really know why, no one will ever know why – not even the letters he left behind will answer the why… His thoughts and his reasonings were his to have.

Wanting nothing more than to call, to send him a text to talk – just to talk about life, my journey, my woes, to laugh, to cry, to receive guidance, wisdom, perhaps an empowering quote, to talk about life and the human behavior (lol) … but they’d be no response! No response from my dear friend who is no longer here!

I hold on to his last text just three days before his death, his voicemail from just two days before… His words of encouragement, his words of wisdom –

Sad and sorry I could not help him get through his woes, his demons – for they were much bigger than me, then his wife & kids, then him!

My missing him is much bigger than my anger and hurt and disappointment. No closure, no goodbyes, no nothing… Just a text, a voicemail ~

But what I do have is this embodied strength that continues to manifest ~ that’s why I can’t and choose not to be angry no matter how much I miss him!

Allz I know is that this world is missing an amazing man – my dear friend! I do thank God for providing me with his friendship and for giving me amazing friends; for continuing to provide & to bless me with people who inspire, love and build me.

I know Hector is never coming back – yet, I find myself incredibly blessed to have had this man enter my life when he did. I just wish he could see me now on this new journey filled with strength, health, friends and new love!

He’d say he is ok! He’d tell me to continue to live life to the fullest! To be true to self first! To love me first! To be honest, loyal, giving, humble, respectful, and most importantly – to be a woman of my word! To love hard no matter what! To trust in my journey for it will not lead me on the wrong path! That we must cease every moment, that every moment we experience is a life lesson; that we must end each day with a lesson learned and wake up each morning with a purpose / with a goal to learn something knew and to pay it forward!

As I write, my Pandora plays, and on comes my dad’s song…

I have Angels guiding me… I know I do – because I believe, I love and I feel!

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Helps individuals in suicidal crisis within the United States.

Luz y Colores mi gran amigo Hector 🌴

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Oil Change & Car Inspection

Oil Change & Car Inspection

As I sit here (waiting for my oil change & car inspection) taking in the morning breeze (before it reaches 90), I can’t help but to reflect on two powerful conversations I had this week.

The first one was with a fabulous woman I met through the Latina Network on Facebook. She is from Sacramento; she quickly responded to my request of needing to speak to someone with respect to youth development programming. We quickly connected, made arrangements to talk and soon thereafter, we spoke for an hour! What initially was supposed to be a professional call, turned out to be both that and a little reality check for me.

I refer to the call much like an oil change (odd comparison, I know)…. but so true. It was about needing to get rid of all the self-pitty, the negative thoughts – the need to defend what needed no defending; it was about flushing out the dirty juice that flowed through my system. While I was still functional, the pipes that kept me running were dirty..it was using too much of the wrong energy. My friends, it was time for an oil change!!

It was time to “own it”!

To believe in me and all the positives that live within me. To reaffirm the positive attributes and to “shift my perspectives” – to no longer see those things that hindered both my personal & professional growth as negative or less than, but rather finding the linkage to make it relatable, current and needed.

She told me to “own it”!

You see, professional titles are not and should not be the driving force – but rather, the love, passion & commitment you have for it! What an “AHA” moment for me. For someone whom I just met, how can she offer up such great wisdom, consejo (advise), friendship and some amazing professional points!!

So grateful to have connected with Liz A. Garcia!! Mil gracias…

Now it’s time for the inspection – making sure it all works and is functional…

After my call with Liz, I jumped on another much needed call with my friend/confidant/therapist – what an amazing man he is and how grateful I am for his wisdom.

In a nutshell, I began to feel, once again, that my world was falling apart. While my inside world (hubby & kids) is perfect, the outside world…well, that didn’t feel so good!

He made me realize that my emotions were okay – they were justified. My life was falling into place, everything was in order = family, relationship & job. Then in an instant things changed…no longer in the “working order” as I once knew it and worked so hard for; thus leaving me with alot of time on my hands. And with having time, comes having time to think about “everything”…even things that I know damn well I don’t have control of; leading me, well… to no longer have control of me & my thoughts! Making me angry, snappy and sad ~

He said something interesting -“he/she who has control of their emotions, controls the relationship/situation”… “AHA”!! (again)!!

It was time for an inspection – time to determine what is working, what is not and then to ask yourself what happened in between to cause that disruption in your emotions….

Once you know (and you will) – it’ll be time to fix it!! As he kindly reminded me – you are in control of you, your emotions, your thoughts, your actions and inactions – it’s You vs You!!

While this is easier said than done – (thank God for the opportunity to get an oil change & inspection frequently) – inspecting oneself every-so-often is a great way to start over (without starting NEW…more like a reality check with a dose of wisdom)…

My friends, I share this personal struggle because I know I’m not the only one who sometimes finds it hard to deal with the inner you – those spirits that are working against you!!

We all deal with it differently, yes, but at the end of the day, while it’s all up to YOU, seeking support from those you trust, and in my case, from those you just happen to meet…well, it can mean a world of difference!! I think of that extra help as “coupons”… We can always use them (I know I did, got $10 off my oil change)… Lol

Your mental sanity is so important ~ take care of it, feed it the fuel it needs so that it runs at its best!

Loving me first ~

Lanette

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