Tag Archives: relationship

Only I can write my story….

I have not written a piece in a bit; a little over two months to be exact. Perhaps it’s out of laziness, or maybe it’s because there hasn’t been much time – but I really think it’s because so much has happened, and getting my thoughts on paper (well in my case a notes app) is a lot harder than one thinks!

Last piece I wrote was about living outside ones comfort zone, and not fully living if you’re living within safe boundaries! The piece before that was reminiscent of my childhood…. So it’s definitely time to write….

If you’ve read my posts before, then you know I’m quite the comedian, a realist if you will, an incredibly honest and forthcoming person, and one that truly believes (regardless of opinion) in sharing my journey because in some form or fashion, it helps to reaffirm all that is me, and helps to empower other women along the way!

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A friend posted the quote above on Facebook recently, and while I’ve posted hundreds of empowering quotes, this particular one stood out for me because it reminded me that “I” am the only one who gets to write my story.

Interesting ha? We all say this, know this, encourage others to believe this – but often, we are the ones allowing others to hold the pen and write on our behalf; we allow others to erase and rewrite sentences, change words, erase words, explain our ideas, give their opinions – leaving us with a piece written to the likes of others and not truly for ourselves! Get the picture?

Yes, one could argue that in the real world, whether we like it or not, we must conform in some way or another to that of others (children, partners, family, friends….you get the picture).

But for the sake of argument – let’s just all agree to focus on YOU! The importance of knowing that you are in control of you, that you truly can write your story, that while you can chose to accept the opinions of others – that you my friend, at the end of the day, are the author of your own story!

Like children who are born not yet knowing how to compromise (I know you’ve seen the kids walk the streets with rain boots and a cape in the winter – just because they said so!!) we too must dig deep within our soul, our essence, our innocence and not let our journey be derailed – we must stay true to our ideas, our words, our beliefs, and most importantly, ourselves!

I spared you the details of all that has gone on in my life the past 8 months…
the past three months in particular (I will share the ugly, the bad and the beautiful soon enough); but I will share this much with you now – I “have” been holding the pen and have been writing my story for the past 2 1/2 years!! It has not been the least bit easy – but it has been liberating, freeing, whole, and I tell you my friend that I have not put down my pen, I have not allowed others to use my pen (not even for a second), and I have not allowed others to sway me to write a different story!

I remain the author of my journey…..

I will continue to reach for the top and live as if I’m already there….

I will continues to be led by positive energy and the universe….

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One Month

One Month…

Not sure why I get this sense of urgency to write when I should be sleeping instead…oh well!

So my mind is racing – so much has happened since I last wrote. For one, I make a month in my new position! Woohoo! Gotta admit I’m quite pooped but I absolutely love it! Feels like I’ve been in my position for years..lol, but I really think it feels that way because the work is fulfilling on so many levels. My love for community, advocacy, empowerment and providing resources to those who are often left without a voice runs deep in my soul! To meet like-minded people who share in the same vision & passion is rewarding and incredibly breathtaking!

This past month has also allowed for a lot of reflection as I’ve found myself on several occassions having to protect & defend my personal space. I wrote several months ago about the power of friends & how each friendship adds a different value to your life. Each so special & different & rewarding.

It is when those friendships/relationships are tested that you find yourself reflecting – forcing you to rethink your boundaries, your values & what your expectations are for those friendships – asking yourself “what does this friendship/relationship mean & how important is it in my life?” Does it add value?

I realize that for me (and you don’t have to agree), that no matter the type of friendship – the relationship at its core has to always remain honest and respectful; one should never have to defend or explain integrity, value, commitment or loyalty. I feel that once these concerns come up – then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate that friendship/relationship for authenticity!

I get that all friendships, much like intimate relationships, are different & unique and ALL require work (commitment, communication and yes – respect)!

And much like relationships – when friendships outgrow eachother, or when it’s no longer fun or respectful or sincere – it’s time to walk away ~ they’re just certain things that are really not worth holding on to or working on when you know in your gut it’s just not worth the energy!

I find myself telling my daughter that “she needs to protect her personal space” – that she needs to “create boundaries” that can keep her safe, sane & healthy!

Same rules apply to adults!

I remember when she was a little kid (she technically still is at almost 18 ..lol, but you know what I mean)… when a girl was mean to her, I would tell her to let the girl know how it makes her feel. If the issues continue – then it’s time to walk away from this little girl – there are plenty of friends to be made & that she should never accept someone being mean to her.

Why do we forget those same basic principles as we become adults? I know why – it’s this inner thought that “we can fix it all and that as adults – we give each other the benefit of the doubt or we help eachother get through it”. We work and we work and we work until it becomes toxic!

Hmmm… this is a tough one

I suppose the saying “it’s easier said than done” applies to this topic!!

Life is tough – it is! Friendships, well, that shouldn’t be so tough!

Nonetheless, I am blessed & happy to have a circle of respectful, intelligent, funny, opinionated, strong, powerful & independent sisters in my life! They are in my life because there was never a question of integrity, trust, honesty or loyalty!

I will continue to protect my space. If I don’t let you in, it’s not because I don’t think you’re worthy, it’s only because I need to protect ME!

“Lovingmefirst” and if you don’t understand why – then perhaps you need to do some reflecting of your own

Peace & Love ~

I leave you with this impactful quote ~

“How would your life be different if…You approached all relationships with authenticity and honesty? Let today be the day…You dedicate yourself to building relationships on the solid foundation of truth and authenticity.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

My beautiful girl ~

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