Tag Archives: laughter

My Ocean 

My last day in warm Fort Lauderdale and what an amazing time I had. To share, laugh, eat, dance and just be with three amazing women is my blessing! I forgot how hard one can laugh; that belly holding, body crunching, can’t breathe, almost pee-on-yourself kinda laugh…. and sometimes for no reason! Almost as if the laughter had been oppressed for months and years or maybe it’s because my cousins are just too damn silly! Either way the laughter brought so much relief – to be with women who get you, who love you just because you are you, to be a silly little girl, to be the woman you are and to be loved unconditionally – like, what’s better than that? #blessed 
My cousin and bestie did a quick mall run as we count down the hours before we depart; my other cousin made it back home safely this morning. 

I decided to stay behind and take these few hours to enjoy the ocean breeze alone, to hear the ocean waves, write, reflect and think not to far ahead, but enough to keep me balanced, focused and happy (inside and out). 

It’s not a coincidence that every trip to Florida (with the exception of one) has not come after a hardship, almost as if God knew the warmth of the sun and the ocean is what I will need to help me get through! I swear he knows what he is doing – he always delivers! 

The ocean – it’s a calling deeply rooted in my soul, something I can’t explain but I feel it. We all have that thing that brings internal calmness. For some it’s a walk, hike, meditation, yoga, a bike ride but for me, it’s the ocean. I swear it’s where I belong. If I can end my day every day and wake up every day to the sounds and the smell of the ocean, I’d be in heaven on earth. 

The ocean doesn’t care who you are, what you’ve been through, where you’re going – the ocean is just there. The waves can be subtle or enormous, the sounds easy or powerful, the smell soft or strong, the breeze gentle or hard but the view – the view is priceless…. the variations of it all is truly breathtaking. 

The ocean is my reminder that while you can see its beginning (the shore) – the ending is no where in sight…. a true reflection of the experiences we live through. The ocean for me signifies a cleansing. I brought it all my hurt, worries, sadness, confusion, anger and I left it there…. by the shore and it washed it all away…. no more worries, no more confusion, no more anger – the sadness and hurt washing away with each wave…. the waves come to you but it’s taking away what is left left at the shore making it untouchable!  

The ocean is my spiritual connection ~ 

The ocean is my safe space ~ 

The ocean is my detox ~ 

The ocean is my inner peace ~ 

The ocean is my ocean. 

I go back home renewed. Reminded by the ocean that I had been there before and I return every time wiser, stronger, eternally youthful, and blessed to have spent some time with it! 

I know I’ll be back to visit in several weeks. To take in the sun, the sounds, the smell, to enjoy and laugh, and to remember that nothing or no one can damper my spirit, just like the ocean – let it go Lanette ~

Blessed beyond my soul ~ 


Luz y colores mi gran amigo Hector

It’s been nearly 4 months since the unexpected passing of one of my best friends! There’s been many of times I’ve tried to write about him, about our friendship, but to no avail. Never quite strong enough to get through my writing.

They say you never quite know how much someone means to you until they are gone…. So true! I surely knew how important he was in my life when his soul was alive, but with him no longer here, I certainly understand and have a new found appreciation of the “why” he was important.

I’ve always believed that every friend, every person that walks in and out of our lives, serves a purpose! Whether to listen to your woes, to provide sound or even obscure advise (such can be comical or whimsical in nature), others are there to make your boo-boos feel better, to laugh, to cry with, dance, talk, guide….etc (you get the picture) – friends serve a purpose – even the ones that are no longer in our lives (perhaps they were never a friend – but certainly served a purpose). Either way, that’s what my friend Hector was for me – all of the above and then some!

If you know me well then you know I owe some of my inner & outer strengths to him! He believed in the purpose, in the strength & power of a woman. He believed in me and in moments of doubt, fear, confusion and cloudiness – he was there to push me through… To provide stern advise, sensible wisdom, laughter, tainted humor and always a listening ear no matter how busy or strained his day! Whether via call, a text, a meet-up, Hector made time for his friend!

No closure! No goodbye, no closure for me in knowing why he took his life so sudden, so unexpected, so rash – so devilish in nature!

As much as I want to be angry at him for leaving his family, his friends, for no longer having our friendship, I can’t! Mental illness, for no matter how much it appears someone has it together, no matter how smart, wise, rational one appears – mental illness lies deep within the soul; so deeply rooted that while in the outer you sustain, deep within you are broken — feeling like there’s no way out! You are a functioning depressed person until your rock bottom is too heavy to dig yourself out.

He always encouraged me to write! To share my journey because in some form or fashion – we all have something amazing to share, and the idea behind sharing is that someone is inspired or empowered by your story!

Your journey, much like depression and suicide, is never something to be hidden, to be embarrassed about! I can hear him now, telling me that what he did was wrong on so many levels, a gravely ill mistake not fully comprehending the everlasting damage & impact it left behind – a pain that filters the veins….

He would never object to my writing about him, in fact, he would encourage such writings! To tell the world that suicide is never an answer and while it was his answer – it was the wrong answer!

I will never really know why, no one will ever know why – not even the letters he left behind will answer the why… His thoughts and his reasonings were his to have.

Wanting nothing more than to call, to send him a text to talk – just to talk about life, my journey, my woes, to laugh, to cry, to receive guidance, wisdom, perhaps an empowering quote, to talk about life and the human behavior (lol) … but they’d be no response! No response from my dear friend who is no longer here!

I hold on to his last text just three days before his death, his voicemail from just two days before… His words of encouragement, his words of wisdom –

Sad and sorry I could not help him get through his woes, his demons – for they were much bigger than me, then his wife & kids, then him!

My missing him is much bigger than my anger and hurt and disappointment. No closure, no goodbyes, no nothing… Just a text, a voicemail ~

But what I do have is this embodied strength that continues to manifest ~ that’s why I can’t and choose not to be angry no matter how much I miss him!

Allz I know is that this world is missing an amazing man – my dear friend! I do thank God for providing me with his friendship and for giving me amazing friends; for continuing to provide & to bless me with people who inspire, love and build me.

I know Hector is never coming back – yet, I find myself incredibly blessed to have had this man enter my life when he did. I just wish he could see me now on this new journey filled with strength, health, friends and new love!

He’d say he is ok! He’d tell me to continue to live life to the fullest! To be true to self first! To love me first! To be honest, loyal, giving, humble, respectful, and most importantly – to be a woman of my word! To love hard no matter what! To trust in my journey for it will not lead me on the wrong path! That we must cease every moment, that every moment we experience is a life lesson; that we must end each day with a lesson learned and wake up each morning with a purpose / with a goal to learn something knew and to pay it forward!

As I write, my Pandora plays, and on comes my dad’s song…

I have Angels guiding me… I know I do – because I believe, I love and I feel!

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Helps individuals in suicidal crisis within the United States.

Luz y Colores mi gran amigo Hector 🌴

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Only I can write my story….

I have not written a piece in a bit; a little over two months to be exact. Perhaps it’s out of laziness, or maybe it’s because there hasn’t been much time – but I really think it’s because so much has happened, and getting my thoughts on paper (well in my case a notes app) is a lot harder than one thinks!

Last piece I wrote was about living outside ones comfort zone, and not fully living if you’re living within safe boundaries! The piece before that was reminiscent of my childhood…. So it’s definitely time to write….

If you’ve read my posts before, then you know I’m quite the comedian, a realist if you will, an incredibly honest and forthcoming person, and one that truly believes (regardless of opinion) in sharing my journey because in some form or fashion, it helps to reaffirm all that is me, and helps to empower other women along the way!

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A friend posted the quote above on Facebook recently, and while I’ve posted hundreds of empowering quotes, this particular one stood out for me because it reminded me that “I” am the only one who gets to write my story.

Interesting ha? We all say this, know this, encourage others to believe this – but often, we are the ones allowing others to hold the pen and write on our behalf; we allow others to erase and rewrite sentences, change words, erase words, explain our ideas, give their opinions – leaving us with a piece written to the likes of others and not truly for ourselves! Get the picture?

Yes, one could argue that in the real world, whether we like it or not, we must conform in some way or another to that of others (children, partners, family, friends….you get the picture).

But for the sake of argument – let’s just all agree to focus on YOU! The importance of knowing that you are in control of you, that you truly can write your story, that while you can chose to accept the opinions of others – that you my friend, at the end of the day, are the author of your own story!

Like children who are born not yet knowing how to compromise (I know you’ve seen the kids walk the streets with rain boots and a cape in the winter – just because they said so!!) we too must dig deep within our soul, our essence, our innocence and not let our journey be derailed – we must stay true to our ideas, our words, our beliefs, and most importantly, ourselves!

I spared you the details of all that has gone on in my life the past 8 months…
the past three months in particular (I will share the ugly, the bad and the beautiful soon enough); but I will share this much with you now – I “have” been holding the pen and have been writing my story for the past 2 1/2 years!! It has not been the least bit easy – but it has been liberating, freeing, whole, and I tell you my friend that I have not put down my pen, I have not allowed others to use my pen (not even for a second), and I have not allowed others to sway me to write a different story!

I remain the author of my journey…..

I will continue to reach for the top and live as if I’m already there….

I will continues to be led by positive energy and the universe….

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Day 1 Reflection – What has been your funniest moments?

Day 1 Reflection – what has been your funniest moments?

I tried to think of the funniest moment but in all honesty, I’ve had many funny moments. You see, I swear I have the funniest & silliest husband ever! One of my many sayings to him is that the only reason I’m with him is because “he makes me laugh”!

The apples did not fall far from the tree because my two kids can be pretty hilarious. Especially my 17 year old daughter – she can say the darnedest of things! My son, he does great imitations!

Then there’s my family! One look at my oldest brother and no doubt, I’m already laughing!

My aunt and uncle have become pretty funny too, and my cousin Christine – she’s funny as heck too!

Zumba – well, laughter never fell short at my classes! In fact, laughter and smiles were mandatory! I was often the subject of the laughter: from yelling “lower” & “jump” after clearly stating that they “never-ever” have to jump or squat! Lol aahh…love my Zumba family!

As I sit and reflect I realize and further appreciate laughter; it’s beauty, the way it brings joy (and even tears) to our lives, and its ability to be instantaneous!

I realize now how important it is to capture those moments – but grateful to have those moments in my heart, soul and memory!

If you know me, I love to laugh and pretty much laugh at anything!

There’s never a day in my house that we’re not laughing! Laughter, like music, can be medicine to your soul – so laugh!

Read a little more here about the benefits of laughter ~

http://kaysfittings0211.blogspot.com/2013/10/health-benefits-of-laughter.html?m=1

What has been one of your funniest moments? Please share here ~

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One Month

One Month…

Not sure why I get this sense of urgency to write when I should be sleeping instead…oh well!

So my mind is racing – so much has happened since I last wrote. For one, I make a month in my new position! Woohoo! Gotta admit I’m quite pooped but I absolutely love it! Feels like I’ve been in my position for years..lol, but I really think it feels that way because the work is fulfilling on so many levels. My love for community, advocacy, empowerment and providing resources to those who are often left without a voice runs deep in my soul! To meet like-minded people who share in the same vision & passion is rewarding and incredibly breathtaking!

This past month has also allowed for a lot of reflection as I’ve found myself on several occassions having to protect & defend my personal space. I wrote several months ago about the power of friends & how each friendship adds a different value to your life. Each so special & different & rewarding.

It is when those friendships/relationships are tested that you find yourself reflecting – forcing you to rethink your boundaries, your values & what your expectations are for those friendships – asking yourself “what does this friendship/relationship mean & how important is it in my life?” Does it add value?

I realize that for me (and you don’t have to agree), that no matter the type of friendship – the relationship at its core has to always remain honest and respectful; one should never have to defend or explain integrity, value, commitment or loyalty. I feel that once these concerns come up – then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate that friendship/relationship for authenticity!

I get that all friendships, much like intimate relationships, are different & unique and ALL require work (commitment, communication and yes – respect)!

And much like relationships – when friendships outgrow eachother, or when it’s no longer fun or respectful or sincere – it’s time to walk away ~ they’re just certain things that are really not worth holding on to or working on when you know in your gut it’s just not worth the energy!

I find myself telling my daughter that “she needs to protect her personal space” – that she needs to “create boundaries” that can keep her safe, sane & healthy!

Same rules apply to adults!

I remember when she was a little kid (she technically still is at almost 18 ..lol, but you know what I mean)… when a girl was mean to her, I would tell her to let the girl know how it makes her feel. If the issues continue – then it’s time to walk away from this little girl – there are plenty of friends to be made & that she should never accept someone being mean to her.

Why do we forget those same basic principles as we become adults? I know why – it’s this inner thought that “we can fix it all and that as adults – we give each other the benefit of the doubt or we help eachother get through it”. We work and we work and we work until it becomes toxic!

Hmmm… this is a tough one

I suppose the saying “it’s easier said than done” applies to this topic!!

Life is tough – it is! Friendships, well, that shouldn’t be so tough!

Nonetheless, I am blessed & happy to have a circle of respectful, intelligent, funny, opinionated, strong, powerful & independent sisters in my life! They are in my life because there was never a question of integrity, trust, honesty or loyalty!

I will continue to protect my space. If I don’t let you in, it’s not because I don’t think you’re worthy, it’s only because I need to protect ME!

“Lovingmefirst” and if you don’t understand why – then perhaps you need to do some reflecting of your own

Peace & Love ~

I leave you with this impactful quote ~

“How would your life be different if…You approached all relationships with authenticity and honesty? Let today be the day…You dedicate yourself to building relationships on the solid foundation of truth and authenticity.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

My beautiful girl ~

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