Wake Up – The Universe Has Awoken You! 

Has the Universe awoken you? Did it feel more like it threw you with a bucket of ice-cold water and then smaked you up a couple of times followed by a pretty hard shake? Well yeah, it did for me! Still reeling from it – body still kinda sore, ego bruised and spirit still being put together! Damn it…lol! 

Ultimate believer that everything happens for a reason and that there are valuable lessons to learn from the good, bad and indifferent! Processing, reflecting and learning from it all. I take and share my lessons to empower others as there is no guilt or shame in sharing ones story! 

Empowerment only comes from the act of giving oneself honestly and truthfully free of bias and judgement!! The world will adjust – it always does! ❤️ blessed day peeps! Live life fully #awake 

Look out for my short story to be published soon ~ it’ll keep you scrolling down to the end with the hopes that you take something meaninginful away from it! 🙏🏽

The Ego 

The EGO – when it creeps up and/or is how your life is guided, you are most likely living for everyone else except yourself! 

When EGO creeps up, ask yourself why you’re feeling that way? Most likely your surface feelings are hurt and/or your acting out “against your true authentic self”. You are in fact living under everyone else’s expectations of you! You see, when you live life authentically (being true to who you are) then you leave no room for EGO!!

EGO, when it creeps up can cause havoc if not handled swiftly. So don’t confuse surface – “fake” feelings for your identity because most often than not, it will leave you feeling empty and alone. Love yourself first and live the authentic you! Anything less than that means you’re a puppet so #ownyourtruth my peeps! #lovingmefirst 😘 

Never loose sight of you! 

We’ve all heard the term “I’ve lost myself”! Whether it be because you let your guard down in a relationship, maybe you let stress take over you, or maybe it’s because you’re constantly doing for others and forgetting to take care of yourself.

Whatever the reason, the truth is that you CANNOT loose yourself! How could you? You’re with yourself 24/7/365! Honestly, you can’t even loose sight of yourself (unless you don’t have a mirror…lol)! I know I know – this is a figure of speech that best describes the fact that you’re not taking care of you – the most important person ever! We need to remember we can’t take care of anyone else if we’re not first taking care of our mind, body and soul! You just wont be successful – it will catch up to you, eventually!

I know it’s easier said than done – as women we are taught that we must take care of our children, families; to be the best at everything but it should never be at the expense of your spirit! I’m sorry! So ladies, make sure you are taking the time to take care of you. Tell yourself positive reaffirmations, tell yourself that you love yourself and PLEASE, look in the mirror often so you don’t loose sight of the amazing and beautiful woman you are – inside and out! 🙏🏽😘❤️ love ya! #ownyourtruth #lovingmefirst 

Good Bye 2015! Hello 2016!

Out with the old, in with the new! At least that’s how the saying goes. 
As we welcome 2016 in a couple of hours, this is the perfect time to reflect on a year that brought smiles, laughter, new friends, new experiences and yes…the dreadful experiences that we much rather have done without! But like the other saying goes – “everything happens for a reason!”

While I did not have any “defined” goals if you will, I did make a promise to myself that I would continue to grow, to be better than I was yesterday; to learn to listen, to be a better communicator, to acquire skills and tools to better aid me in my journey and in learning on how to deal with things that don’t always align with my path. I took on to on-line mind games, listening to motivational speakers and theorist, learned to meditate, learned to breathe with a purpose, and read and wrote a lot. 

There were a lot of happy times for me this past year, but truth be told – I encountered a lot of tough moments & losses – growing pains is how I describe those moments; learning to appreciate life is how I described the losses! Some I felt on the surface, others ran soul deep – but with each moment of pain came a moment of growth & understanding. What I eventually realized is that every time something tough came around, I knew how to handle. Each moment needed a different tactic. 

There was less internal pain, less anxiety, less stress…. less mind consuming thoughts and irrational emotions … The answers were always within, the skills and tools I learned helped me to cope! To be rational, to be empathetic, to process – allowing me to come up with answers and ideas and results driven by rationalism & thoughtful thought rather than answers inspired by anger, hurt, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from having perfected these skills, but I am better. 

Change happens from within. It’s a conscious choice. We do it for ourselves so that we can be happy; our internal happiness allows us to be happy for and with others. Like that other saying goes “you can’t make others happy if you’re not happy with self.” So true in every which way. Anything other than this leads to stress, resentment, uncontrollable thoughts, false hope, poor choices – at the end of the day, you’re setting yourself up for failure. 

I recently read a quote that read “let us not hope for more chance to change our story; let us summon the courage to change it ourselves! 

This quote resonated so deeply! Often we give chance after chance, allow situations to arise without any real resolution – often saying give it time, or I’ll deal with it some other time, or trying to justify it for reasons that truly don’t exist… It’s really because we are refusing to change – to live outside that comfort zone. 

Change is inevitable – but resistance to change is what keeps you in the back seat! We are the drivers on our journey, we are responsible for the choices and the actions we take and the consequences that arise – we are in control of our thoughts, our choices, decisions, emotions, lifestyle, stress, happiness… our smiles… our souls! 

This year I learned that I’m far from perfect, but I’m a pretty amazing woman – able to endure all, a woman of resiliency, triumph, a women who is able to forgive, accept, a woman willing to learn from her mistakes and imperfections. A woman open to growth: internal and external change. A woman willing to listen, capable of love & understanding – a woman with an entrepreneurial spirit – willing to go above and beyond for the people and causes she cares about & believes in. 

I learned that love is not unconditional but it comes pretty close to it! I learned that my heart is bigger than most, that my spirit is truly unbreakable and my soul, well my soul is flexible… 🌴 

As I prepare to welcome 2016, I will make a list of things I’d like to see happen… I will evaluate this list often. This list will allow me to stay focused, to continue to evolve, to explore, to live & to learn!  

A year of pure transformation is how I describe 2015! 

As I welcome 2016, I will view life with a different lens – seeing it clearer than I ever saw it before.  

Because I learned that life is truly bigger than us. That life will test every value, will pull every single hair on your body, challenge your limits, expand your brain, and widen your thoughts & perception. Life as I once knew it no longer exist and yet, I’m not scared! Excited if you will of all that awaits me in 2016 and years to come! 

An eternal optimist is how I describe me – seeing the bright lights at the end of the road!  

Humbled for the experiences, excited about the new and re-established friendships and forgiving of the friendships that no longer are! 

Blessed for all that is life: the good, the bad and the indifferent, for it really defines who we are! 

I’ve already decided that 2016 will be my year (as was every other year before). I will travel, love even harder, test the limits, live outside of my comfort zone and live freely and in the process I will dance and breathe…. 

Wishing you all continued growth, love, laughter, music, health and prosperity! 

   
  
    
 

What is Self-Love? 

To my daughter and the women I love ~  

  
The key to learning to self-love is that you must first fully understand and make a decision that your “self-love” is not dependent on the approval of others! 

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog, a blog I created to share my journey and to hopefully share pointers, advice, and/or a simple reminder that you are not alone. That as women, we face and overcome so many challenges and barriers, but if we have community, a platform to share, love and the support of each other and others who believe in our growth and evolution – then we can truly grow! 

Self-love! I see the words everywhere. I hear the words spoken by so many, but do we really know and understand what it means? 

I’m convinced that while there’s a recurring theme – that one thing we can all agree on when it comes to what self-love means; the fact is that self-love, much like success and relationships, is really defined by you! 

What does it mean? I can’t speak for others but to me, it’s really learning how to put myself first in a world that has defined our roles as women. We have so many ever-changing titles/roles and to choose one over the other can sometimes feel impossible, let alone overwhelming! We are mothers, wives, partners, sisters, daughters, employees, employers, doctors to our families, caregivers, mentors, therapists for our family and friends, friends, best friends, hosts, lovers, givers, doers, etc etc! Shhheeezz….that’s a lot! 

If I were to ask you or if you asked yourself “who am I?” chances are you would list these titles/roles… but rarely do we answer “I am a woman – strong, empowered, smart, beautiful, giving, balanced, driven…

Self-love to me is being able to say all these things before I say that I am a mother, daughter, sister, aunt, etc etc… It means to me that I hold these self-attributes, strengths, actions more important so that I can successfully be all those titles/roles that the world has clearly defined for me/us without feeling guilty or ashamed! 

Self-love takes time, a long time! I’ve been blogging and writing for years and just when I think I have it, I realize I’m not quite there yet! I’m constantly evolving as a woman: reading, meditating, reflecting, learning, expanding my intake of readings and Ted Talks that reaffirms my feelings and adds to my growth and writing. 

Self-love is not easy! We are taught to stand strong, to put others before ourselves no matter what! We are warriors, we are doers and yet we often fail to see in ourselves and our fellow sisters how strong we truly are! Self-love to me also means that we have a community responsibility of building our sisters, our mothers, our daughters, our youth and our communities! To work hand-in-hand in sharing, nurturing and building all that is a woman! 

Self-love is work in progress… It has to start with you and has to be about you before it can be about others, and once you understand that, then only then can you begin to help build others…

For so long, I was guilt ridden! Felt horrible at the idea of putting myself first! How could I do this? What will others think or say? I bet you know this all to well… It’s hard as hell!

I recently read that “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.” 

The author shared and I now share with you, her Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love: 

Become mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them.

Act on what you need rather than what you want. You love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels good and exciting to what you need to stay strong, centered, and moving forward in your life, instead. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.

Practice good self-care. You will love yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

Set boundaries. You’ll love yourself more when you set limits or say no to work, love, or activities that deplete or harm you physically, emotionally and spiritually, or express poorly who you are.

Protect yourself. Bring the right people into your life. I love the term frenemies that I learned from my younger clients. It describes so well the type of “friends” who take pleasure in your pain and loss rather than in your happiness and success. My suggestion to you here: Get rid of them! There isn’t enough time in your life to waste on people who want to take away the shine on your face that says, “I genuinely love myself and life”. You will love and respect yourself more.

Forgive yourself. We humans can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsiblity for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for mistakes in learning and growing. You have to accept your humanness (the fact that you are not perfect), before you can truly love yourself. Practice being less hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.

Live intentionally. You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live with purpose and design. Your purpose doesn’t have to be crystal clear to you. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. You need to establish your living intentions, to do this.

These 7 steps, together with a host of other resources are what has helped me to further understand what self-love is for me and in turn, learned to live it. I hope it can help you. 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s work in progress but the key words here are “work” and “progress”! By simply working on one thing, you are well on your way to building strength and in turn – SELF-LOVE! 

Peace & Love 

Excerpt above is from this article if you care to read in its entirety! 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-hardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love

One year anniversary 

One year ago today I embarked on the biggest, most impressive, indulging, evolving, fruitful, emotional, life-changing, scary, happiest, challenging and eye-opening experience ever – I left a marriage and moved into my very own apartment, alone! Let the journey begin!  

In that year, I met an amazing man, I dealt with really difficult situations with my children, I lost one of my best friends to suicide, my family home was lost in a fire, I dealt with the loss of people whom I thought were my friends, I gained and reconnected with old friends, bonds with existing friends became stronger; and I was becoming and growing into a new me – facing new and interesting challenges! 

Shoot, I’m still learning a new me, but then again – isn’t that what life is about? Learning, recreating, testing the waters, challenging your thoughts – it’s never about complacency or living in a comfort box!

I have new found faith in God & this universe and as I look around my apartment, I realize and appreciate my blessings and the many blessings that have been bestowed upon me this past year! I know that when one door closes others open in some form or fashion. As I sit here on my deck the entire day and I meditate, reflect, write and recount this past year – I know that I am blessed and thankful for everything that has happened! 

I am a stronger woman, mother and human being. I’ve learned so much and while I know that I’m not perfect, I do know I’m a great person with the capacity to love and give selflessly – I’m happy to be me! I’m proud of me because I did it! Yeah me 👍🏼☺️

What’s especially cool about being me in this place is that I’m growing and most importantly, I am willing to grow & for that I’m proud of me. ☺️ 

To those that have been by my side this past year, listening to my cries & worries, pushing me on days I felt hopeless & helpless, loving me when I felt I wasn’t deserving, for showing me what a great & loving relationship can look like, for giving me chance after chance when I screwed up, for empowering me and telling me “you got this”, for those who simply said “you inspire me; your strength and resilience is empowering”, for those who kicked my ass and set me straight when I needed it no matter how much it hurt, and lastly to everyone who loves me despite my flaws; who truly love me unconditionally – I thank you because truth be told, I could not have done this if not for your love, trust and confidence in me! 

Humbly thankful & eternally grateful! 

Here’s to another great year filled with love, laughter, health, prosperity, cries, lessons, growth, happiness and smiles! Yes smiles and happiness – it’s what I want and will make sure to have! 

Special homage ~~

To my energy – thank you for the lessons learned and for loving me through it ~ 

To my childhood best friend for helping me stay grounded & your honesty even when it hurt! 

To my friend who is no longer here ~ gracias por tener fe en mi ~ 

  
 

reflection & affirmation under the sun

It’s my first day here in sunny, beautiful Phoenix, AZ. It’s always when I am most relaxed and in a great mood that I feel most inspired to write. Laying in the sun soaking in the rays (yes I have sunblock) seems to add the bolt of inspiration that I need to get started!! 

Not much to write in all honesty. Pretty blessed is how I feel these days. Blessed, balanced and relaxed pretty much sums it up! Not that life is all hunky dory, but it’s a lot more manageable & livable, and with all the amazing additions God has blessed me with – it is that much more worth it!
I find myself breezing through life these days; appreciating the good, learning how to deal with the not-so-good in a manner that doesn’t cleanse me out of my positive energy.  Learning to control me and learning that I cannot control the actions or inactions of others! 
Strengthening relationships with those that matter and learning to let go of those that are no longer meant to be! 
Learning to take care of me without the guilt! Learning about my strengths and weaknesses and my newly released desires that have been dormant for way to long! 
My son recently texted me “I’m glad you’re happy and finally living out your dreams…” What a heartfelt moment that was for me. To realize that my kids are looking at every move I make and acknowledging behaviors that I felt I was hiding because I always felt they were selfish! That text message was a reaffirmation that we must live out our dreams, our passions and that we must love ourselves because at the end of the day, when it’s done with the right intentions, carried out with self-respect, dignity and integrity – for no one can take that away or diminish it no matter how hard they try! 
Day 2 of my 5 day visit to Phoenix (still working on my tan), I realize (not that I didn’t know before) that we live in a world filled with endless opportunities for love, success, health and prosperity! It really is up to us to seek it! So often we live by societal rules and norms that can hinder us from growth – it is when we step outside of that comfort zone and reach, that is when we find that peace that we seek!  
Positive reaffirmations help; support and guidance from others just makes life that much sweeter! 
Life is really what you make of it. We all say that we know this, but how many of us are truly living it! On this peaceful morning, I look up to the sky (without trying to be blinded by the sun) and think of all the amazing people who are in heaven looking down on me, guiding me, loving me from afar, supporting me and proving that inner strength – I miss & love them all – yet feel so blessed and lucky to have had them be a true inspiration in my life! 
So much to be thankful for – 
Feeling grateful for it all – the good, the bad & ugly and the fruitful experiences, for today at 42 I am healthy, accomplished, balanced, loved and living a life I am creating for myself! 
Back to working on my tan ~ 
Peace & Love 
Luz y Colores