My husband asked me recently “if you can describe in a couple of words what you went through this year, what words would you use?”
To that I replied “being on a never-ending rollercoaster ride”!
He said why?
My response – riding on a rollercoaster can assume a host of different feelings, for one – “fear”. When riding, whether it’s your first ride or your hundredth, the fear that consumes your body is breath-taking. As I relate it to my life, I was so fearful of what life held for me and my family. Everything that I was accustomed to was now on the brink of disappearing. The fear I consumed often took my breath away.
Excitement is another feeling you undergo when riding. Excitement, while it can be amazing, it can also make your heart & mind race in an uncontrollable fashion; causing a brief state of confusion, because now you’re not sure if you’re excited about what’s to come or excited that it’s ending ~
High: there is this natural high, the adrenaline that your life is now on an upward journey and nothing is going to get you down….and then comes the drop – you subconsciously know it’s coming – but you were basking in the high for so long that when the drop came, it hit you like a ton of bricks!! Your chest is tight, your eyes are shut, your jaw hurts from the clenching, your hands hurt because you’re holding on for dear life and your life flashes right before your eyes. No matter how protected or guarded you think you are, no matter that you’re expecting it, the drop – ALWAYS gets you!
Your Seat – whether the ride holds 2, 3 or 4 passengers, unless you were riding with someone you knew (which is likely), chances are that you may ride this rollercoaster with a complete stranger, and together you will laugh at the excitement, anticipate what’s to come, scream, hold hands, and then when it comes to an end, wave goodbye – not realizing that this complete stranger served a purpose on this ride and your life ~
And if you’re one of those people who enjoy rollercoaster rides, chances are you’ll go on the same ride, challenge yourself on other rides and/or perhaps go on a smaller-less intrusive ride. Nonetheless, you’re doing it all over again (for a difference reason) and even if you absolutely hate rollercoaster rides, the mere fact that you went through it, it is something you pad yourself on the shoulder because now you can say you “did it” – Whatever your reasons for enjoying or hating the ride, you can walk away saying that you have absorbed and endured the shock and emotions of the ride, you now know what to expect! You embrace the drop/fall with open arms, scream and laugh loudly at the excitement and fear of it all, because like every ride you’re on, it will eventually come to an end.
You see my friends, to me, my journey this year was this amazing rollercoaster ride. No matter how many times I cried, no matter how fearful of the unknown I was and no matter how excited I was for the what if’s and no matter how many held my hands and cried/laughed with me – it was in deed the best rollercoaster ride I have ever been on. Do I want to ride the same ride – HELL NO, but do I regret it – NO! Will I ride again – yes ~
I truly believe that we are meant to experience tragedy, excitement, betrayal, laughter, love, lust, lies and every other emotion/scenario possible – it’s what makes us human, it’s what forces us to deal with the inevitable, it is what makes us survivors. Survivors that can pass on advice to others while providing that gentle head-nod to acknowledge that yes, you’ve been on a similar ride and that you have persevered!!
Keep riding ~